People I met along the way. Thank you.
“In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.”
Claudia - The first in a list of people that I never met in real life and just had virtual interactions with from Dating Apps and WhatsApp. Claudia is a poker player from North California. A lot of fun to talk and nearly had me driving the opposite way out of Vegas. The first connection I made that wasn’t at a poker table. Made all of this feel possible.
Lyndsay - Again never met. Lyndsay and I spoke at length the night before I started driving alone. She calmed my anxieties brilliantly. Her biggest contribution however is not being able to meet me on the first day of my roadtrip. I instead took the scenic drive through Lake Meade Recreational Area and that changed my life.
Joe - Met at a Las Vegas Meetup. Joe was the first person to take a huge interest in what I was doing. A FinTech career man, had travelled all over the world both for work and alone. Had great perspectives on the best way to maximise my time in the USA and the wider world. Also my first introduction to Bozeman, Montana that became a key stop for me.
By no means is this an exhaustive list of people I met or those who I am grateful to.
Where I didn’t receive specific permission to use someone’s real identity or felt I was revealing private information, I have changed their names below.
Izzie - Salt Lake City. A fascinating woman, was a member of the church of Latter Day Saints, however we went on a date where she showed me her numerous tattoos and drank coffee. She gave me a real taste of what it was to be a professional in a city I couldn’t quite grasp.
Cynthia - Salt Lake City. Cynthia is an extraordinary human being. Her first and maybe largest contribution came when I was agonising about leaving Salt Lake City. I felt like I’d not really experienced it fully but wanted to keep driving because I still hadn’t visited any new states and was driving slowly. Cynthia offered to keep talking to me whatever happened even though we hadn’t met yet. This somehow relieved all of my pressure on what it was I was “supposed” to be doing on this journey. I stayed two more nights and thankfully got to meet her in person.
Cynthia embodies self-positivity in a way I had never encountered before. After our first date full of her encouragement for me to celebrate myself I had a 1AM interaction at a Drive Thru where the cashier told me “I love your accent, you sound like you’re famous” hot off such a confidence boost my immediate response was “I am famous” and drove away leaving the poor bewildered guy behind. I don’t think anyone can make me feel better about myself than she does. This isn’t toxic positivity, it's honest, loving, wholehearted and entirely her nature to make people feel that way.
It’d take me too long to enumerate all the ways she supported me emotionally both in person and via message after I left her city. Without her messaging me I would not have gotten as far as I did and picked myself up off the floor as many times. I’m certain I’ve thanked her enough and when my insecurity prompted me to ask why she kept talking to me her response was “I like you, and this is just who I am”
I’m eternally glad that I put Salt Lake City on the return trip route because seeing her in person again was worth it. Not least she taught me the word “twitterpated”. She pushes into my brain the ability to not leave all of this in the past. Anywhere I have been I can go again. Equally I’m devastated that I have no photos or videos of the two of us together. I hope she and her friend enjoy their trip to the UK. I’m sure we will meet again.
Dylan (and Yeti) - Met in a Bozeman Park. Dylan spoke to me for less than 10 minutes. The reason she’s here is up until now I’d been afraid to talk to strangers. It took me 60 minutes in the park to pluck up the courage to ask the attractive sunbathing woman if I could play with her dog. Not only did she let me play with Yeti (below) the chat gave me the positive reinforcement to do this again in the future. She also told me that I should go to Hyalite Park to see the stars, a recommendation that may alter the course of my life..
The people met during my time at the Bozeman Treasure State Hostel:
Alexis, Javier, Erica, Dome - Thank you for your patience with my terrible Spanish. I hope you all have a fabulous time working at Yellowstone. The madness of an Ecuadorian knowing the words for ‘highlands’ and ‘gentrification’ won’t be soon forgotten.
Rebecca and especially Will and the other staff at the hostel - Thanks for sharing your experiences with me. I’m particularly grateful to meet two people who walked the PCT and both of you encouraged greatly me saying it was something I could achieve.
Tim - Not only did you have a cool ass motorbike, the coolest name possible but you cut into a conversation to ask “I’d like to hear more about the guy who left his life to come here”. Meant more to me than you could imagine.
Seb - Going through what sounded like the nightmare of all breakups with his Colombian girlfriend. I hope the couple of hours we spent chatting gave you some temporary relief.
Leif - Ah Leif, what a man to have met. For someone so young to be doing what he did is remarkable. I met him journaling in his hostel bunk, he had more pens than I’ve probably ever had in my life. He claims to be 20, I’m sorry Leif I don’t believe you! Asked why he came to Bozeman and Yellowstone he said “it sounded like a cool place, I might go to Arizona next”.
Leif wants to start his own hot dog business with his brother. Leif and I had a very hard time communicating, I think my British accent and his Milwaukee one really did not gel. Nevertheless his optimism and curiosity were infectious. I’m thrilled to have known him and wish him all the luck in the world.
I was soon to be driving through Wisconsin and asked him what he would suggest visiting. Swiftly his response was “QuikTrip, you’ll love it” this is a chain of gas stations in the area. I’m not sure if we are kindred spirits or he knew exactly what I love about America but his recommendation was spot on.
Kelsey from Fox Rent-A-Car and The Diamond Automotive Team - Billings MT. I don’t know much about cars. Having an issue with my brakes and before a long stretch of driving to Chicago I decided to stop at the last of the rental offices for my car. Kelsey told me her branch is not affiliated to the main chain so she couldn’t really help me.
She proceeded to call her friends at Diamond Automotive, who within an hour had my car up on a lift and were checking my brakes. They suggested a fabulous place to go for breakfast while I waited. Upon coming back told me everything was in working order then refused to take any money for the service, urging me to call them if I ran into any issues on the rest of my journey.
I will never cease to be impressed by their dedication and expediency to help a complete stranger out. They also had an amazingly good boy called Scoob.
Vivian - Minneapolis, MN. Oh this one is tough to write, expect this to be edited or deleted depending on future personal growth. In spite of my emotional turmoil around Viv I can’t understate her importance to my last three months. I spent a significant amount of time in Minneapolis and after the second day it was because of her.
Viv waited alone to meet me on our first date for 30 minutes because I can’t drive or park competently. In spite of her anxiety to meet me she didn’t offer me any reproach. There is an effortless open quality to her character that she struggles to recognise herself. She allowed herself to be vulnerable with me in the bravest of ways and I can’t commend her enough. I felt comfortable around her and that’s not easy for me.
Her story is both heart-breaking and uplifting in equal measure. It’s her own story, I won’t tell it here. I am awestruck by her resilience and wounded by some of her comments “sometimes I feel expired”. Asked what she wanted from dating, her response “I’m exploring connections with other people and waiting for one that I can’t deny” absolutely floored me.
One of her favourite films is the Lion King 2 (Simba’s Pride!) She had a seahorse as a childhood pet. She owns more blankets than Leif owns pens. She insisted that I go and touch the Mississippi river on our first date and she filmed it. She drove me to the Mall of America on our second date and indulged my desire to find a niche shooting location from The End of the Tour.
The greatest praise I can give her is that meeting Viv made me want to talk to people from my old life about her. Our struggle to get the idea of us to mesh with the idea of what we’re both trying to do appears to have been unsuccessful.
I am soaked in regret but I absolutely do not regret meeting such a strong character or being open to something more. I certainly won’t regret smoking weed and doing a jigsaw puzzle together, curled up on her couch with her cat Lara, Gilmore Girls on in the background.
For a brief flicker I caught a glimpse of the feeling I’m after.
Vicki - Again never met in real life, however finding someone from the Wirral in Milwaukee Wisconsin is certainly worth commenting on. I am thrilled to have shared a day of messaging back and forth “Isn’t it weird how Americans do _____”
Mike - Overton, NV. Mike gets basically his own space in my article, go read that.
Gretchen - ??? - Have you ever superliked anyone on a dating app? Gretchen’s profile was immediately the person I wanted to speak to. If there’s a failure of my trip to the US it’s a lack of experiencing more varied lifestyles. I swiped her the first time in Salt Lake City and matched with her on my way back through. She was on her way to San Diego and I was heading back to Vegas so sadly didn’t meet in person.
Not only does she lead a remarkable life that I am fascinated by but has been so open in explaining the ins and outs of it to me. She’s ridiculously cool and gets what I’m doing better than anyone else I’m yet to meet. She remains in touch and offers possibilities for the future that I’m not going to reveal right now…